Agatha and Mary’s Egyptian Odyssey/3

Part Three – Celebrate your Inner Goddess!

(over a rather large breakfast of fresh fruits, yoghurts, flat breads, and various types of eggs)

Goodness Agatha, what on earth did the Captain discover?  I mean, I can’t believe Binky followed you all the way to this luxury cruiser in Egypt, incognito, just to out of sheer devotion?

Oh Mary dear, do stop wafting your bosom around as though it was a major calamity…. It appears that darling Binky was up to his old tricks again and couldn’t bear to be parted from me….

But Agatha, you must surely admit that he would have sunk to the bottom of the Nile if you hadn’t rescued him – his pockets and knapsack were laden with your jewels….I did hear from that rather overbearing German Countess that he was found in your cabin, tried to escape when he heard footsteps, but some unfortunate passenger opened their cabin door at the wrong moment and sent Binky flying over the railings and into the drink!

Yes dear, I suppose I need to finally own up to my foolishness.  But of course my dilemma is that whilst Binky may well have been of service in the – err – physical department, it now seems that he only pretended to adore me for my thighs, when really it was just my money and jewels.  I have been so blind Mary dear!

No, not blind, many women found him irresistible!  He did look quite a dish dressed as Hercule Poirot I thought, such a shame. Does this mean that things between you are finally over?

Yes, I am afraid so.  There is only so much pilfering of one’s beloved treasures that one can cope with.  


But, dear one, don’t be so hard on yourself.  He has been totally charming and I believe given you a little unexpected joy in your vintage years…

Indeed he has dear, but I cannot bear to see the years of hard grafting that enabled me to purchase those wonderful jewels just brazenly ignored in a moment of greed.

Agatha dear, what do you mean?

Well Mary, as you well know us women have to fight for the same wage as men in the same roles.  Before I met Jonty I had worked jolly hard to attain a Senior Management role in the Agricultural Machinery business – tractors and so forth.  But I was aware that my wages fell well below my male counterparts, particularly that smarmy Charles Snodgrass who was certainly a few bales short of a combine harvester.  It always stuck in my craw.

Oh, that’s where you got your nickname Aggie the Rotavator – I always wondered!

No dear, that came from my time as Head of Jam at the WI – less said the better.  Anyway it seems that dear Binky could never understand how precious those hard-won rewards actually were.  He assumed the jewels had been lavished on me by my wealthy late husband.  I do think he saw himself as another Richard Burton – you know he gave her those fabulous emeralds and diamonds after they filmed Cleopatra don’t you?  Now she truly was a goddess and proof that a women of, shall we say, advanced years still has so much to offer.

Agatha dear. don’t get me started – there is that dreadful outmoded assumption that a women with property have been gifted it by a wealthy man!  Women do so much and quite frankly are just belittled by a state that is ruled by historic patriarchal values.  Then of course there is the whole age thing….

Quite, and when all is said and done, Mary,  Binky would never have treated me as an equal and never understood the injustices of the pay gap – or the attractions of an older woman.

So really dear one, you should have left Binky floundering in the Nile at the mercy of the crocodiles.

Perhaps dear (Agatha gazes down into the water)  It would have been an ignominious end for the cad!  

Ah, but fitting one might say!  Still, let’s throw off the shackles of doom and embrace this land that celebrates women and Goddesses.  I’m feeling quite Cleopatra after all that drama!

Yes Mary, I can see that you have unshackled your large frontage – you seem quite free and liberated today! and I must admit it would look splendid adorned with a few choice jewels.

Well, I normally encase my bosom in tweed, but it’s far too hot here, so loose linen is the order of the day, I’m not quite going full out bare breasted like those Queens of Ancient Egypt, not sure if the locals would be quite up to it!


Steady on dear one!  Anyway, some charming Americans at pre-supper drinks last night mentioned the tombs at Luxor, particularly the majestic Temple celebrating Queen Hatshepsut who was arguably the most successful Pharaoh Egypt has ever seen.  Did you know that she ruled for twenty years?

How fabulous and inspiring darling.  I think we would both have made fantastic ancient Queens ourselves, just think of all the jewellery and bathing in asses milk!

Might have been a bit whiffy in this heat one imagines.  Let’s step ashore at Luxor then,  I fancy poking about in an ancient tomb and admiring the artwork.  

Yes, lets celebrate our Inner Goddess – after the events of the last few days, Agatha, you have certainly earned the title!

Quite dear, let’s just hope we don’t meet any asps!  Tell me, is there any cake?


R is for Hoppit
3 Little Buttons
My Random Musings

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