Mary, dear one, what a treat to see you looking so happy. Has anything particular happened this week to cause such a flush of joy across your cheeks. Perhaps the Count has come up trumps with a romantic gesture?
Oh Agatha, how sweet of you to notice. But no, my fresh faced appearance has nothing to do with the dear old fruit, but I did have my annual visit to my facialist this week. She gave me a new treatment, something to do with hydraulics apparently. Of course, at my age we need heavy lifting gear to alleviate the wrinkles, I think that’s what the lovely Gina said, anyway.
Is that Gina who works for the rogue cosmetic surgeon who has been hitting the headlines recently?
Yes, one and the same Agatha. But Gina is totally above board and on the right side. She doesn’t get involved in any of that invasive, injecting buttocks stuff.
Botox I think you mean.
Oh yes. Well, Gina swears by natural remedies and plenty of exercise, with the odd facial peel thrown in to keep one looking youthful and vigorous.
Well Mary, you do look ever so well, tip top dear. Perhaps I should pay her a visit? Maybe eradicating a few lines will help me feel more attractive during the coming party season. Perhaps, even, I might find a new beau?
Oh I do think the force of your personality is enough Agatha dear. After all, at our age, looks are not the first port of call when looking for a romantic companion. One has to be careful about how far one goes with this kind of thing.
Well Mary, that is a rather ironic comment considering the money you have just spent having your skin pummelled and tightened. I mean, if it’s good enough for you then it should be good enough for your oldest friend, don’t you think?
Oh but dear one, you do tend to get a little carried away sometimes. But of course Agatha, I didn’t mean to be bossy (flushes) – but I know you. You see a new thing and you go a little overboard. I can imagine you being persuaded to have all sorts of procedures once you are sitting in that seductive environment, surrounded by images of ladies who have shed decades with one swipe of the knife.
Do you mean that I would go for a full face lift without batting an eyelid?
Possibly Agatha, and you wouldn’t be able to bat your eyelids for months afterwards! Don’t you remember April Bartholomew? She had a series of facial lifts and tucks and couldn’t blink at all by the end of it.
Heavens dear – I hadn’t realised that was the reason she always wore dark glasses and had such a strained look about her. I thought she was hoping to look like Victoria Beckham! But you’re quite right Mary. I always do get carried away. After all, I did lose all sense of proportion over that rotter Binky. Perhaps I should stick to the Estee Lauder counter at Selfridges, Daddy’s discount still applies there – amazing really after all these years, but I guess old man Selfridge must have been desperate. Anyway, Florence really does look after me. She always manages to find just the right foundation colour and texture for my skin.
And you always look glorious Agatha. You are still a real head turner when you have had your hair done and you are wearing something expensive. It’s your bone structure I have always admired. Those cheek bones would shame the Duchess of Cambridge!
Thank you dear, they are a real asset as it means I’ll never really have to have any serious surgery. But, that reminds me dear about that very sad story in the news last week. Do you remember Pete Burns, that pop singer from the 1980s?
Oh yes indeed. His band was Dead or Alive were they not?
That’s right dear. Anyway, he met an untimely end last week, at the age of just 57 – so young and so tragic.
I did hear that, I agree so very tragic. Such an interesting chap too. I do remember being struck by his beauty when he was first on the scene. Quite transcendent.
Yes he was. And for some reason he went totally overboard on plastic surgery. One wonders what drove such a talented and good looking chap to such extremes. He must have been quite insecure inside, I imagine.
Perhaps he was, Agatha dear. I believe that it all started when he went to get his broken nose fixed and it went wrong.
But isn’t that what happened to David Gest too? Poor chap had some dreadful surgery that went horribly wrong and he too died before his time.
Horribly tragic. I believe dear Pete had admitted that being in the spotlight made him very conscious of how he looked. It seems that nowadays you need more than talent to succeed in the world of popular music, you need to look a certain way. It’s such unremitting pressure on the young ones.
I agree totally my dear. One wonders what lengths people will go to to conform to some arbitrary standard of beauty.
Yes Agatha, and of course, the pressure is on both men and women – it is a worry, particularly when you know that those images we are fed every day of perfect features are all air-brushed. They are not real.
Well, let’s try and embrace the warts and all. The good thing is that as one advances in age, one can join in the Halloween celebrations and look witchy and scary with very little makeup.
Yes dear. The only problem is that we sometimes scare ourselves too! But do you remember the larks we used to have by simply putting a torch under the chin?
Oh indeed Mary, a darkened hall and a torch was enough to make the bravest child quiver in fear. Amazing how the simple things work best isn’t it?
Indeed Agatha dear and, talking of simple things how about a nice cup of tea and some of Ethel’s pumpkin pie?
I thought you’d never ask dear.