Ah Agatha dear heart. Lovely to see you. Come in and taste Ethel’s delectable meringues.
Mary dear, sounds delightful, and I am somewhat peckish after my morning pointing and sorting papers at our local polling station, you could say that we got into quite an Eton Mess with it all!
Well, we do have some cream and some of our lovely raspberries from the greenhouse to go with them. I’d quite forgotten about that voting malarkey, which is a tad remiss of me considering all those wonderful women who suffered so that we could have the vote in the first place.
You are absolutely right dear friend, one has to try at least, even when it all looks rather like an uphill struggle.
I agree Agatha. I say – you do seem a tad discombobulated today. Perhaps you should stay off the gin until mid afternoon dear.
Mary! I haven’t touched a drop. But the Doctor advised I should try some new fangled pill and the side effects make me feel quite peculiar. My mouth feels drier than the humour in the House of Lords.
Well, I prescribe some strong tea then. I’ll ring for Ethel.
Thankyou dear. Anyway, the voting started with quite a solid flow of suited and booted arriving early before going off to work, then mums with pushchairs and by 11am the geriatric brigade with their sticks and walking frames; I do believe they enjoy the trip out.
And you are older than most of them dear.
As indeed we both are dear…but I must admit I’ve been particularly lucky to remain mobile and not to succumb to the family condition like poor Uncle Fortesque. His ankles became quite the talk of society you know. But I digress, shall you vote later?
Well, I’m sure Ethel’s tea and meringues will perk me right up and then I can toddle off down to the local village hall and put my mark on the paper. But, dear, I have no idea who I’d currently vote for as I’ve not seen anything convincing from any party.
I know what you mean Mary dear, it’s as though Theresa had a new haircut to divert attention from the importance of the local elections.
Well, one must keep in mind the big one in June of course. And despite the evidence that the result is a foregone conclusion, the pollsters have got it wrong before. It’s never over until the fat lady sings as they say. Which reminds me. You didn’t manage to hear Madelaine Cauli-Floret sing at the parish council event the other evening?
Oh yes, Mary dear, what an experience. I had quite forgotten how …. individual….. a singer she is. Some of the ladies went quite into a swoon at her rendition of Fairies at the Bottom of the Garden. Fortunately she was prevented from completing an encore of ‘Three Little Maids’ by Bernard Snubbings. He’s not a man I care to associate with, following that nasty incident with the mustard at the Little Milford Church Benevolent Fund Summer Feast last year. It quite put me off my sausages.
It sounds eventful dear, and I am sorry that I missed it. I’ve been up to my eyes in all my sorting out and packing for our trip to Bangkok. All my summer outfits seem to have unaccountably shrunk since last year. I will be forced to purchase some news items which is such a bore.
Oh a trip up to town might be just the tonic we need dear. I can ask Snetter to drop us at the station.
Yes, of course that would be splendid. But I can’t help worrying about people like the tuneful Madelaine, and my dear Count, who could be made to leave England if we experience a hard Brexit.
Oh Mary dear, don’t upset yourself I’m sure that it won’t come to that, we’ve been over this before if you recall. You know our economy can’t survive without all our European colleagues and besides dear one, it is the Eurovision song contest this weekend.
Agatha, goodness you don’t still follow that do you?
Indeed I do dear one and I must say it is a tonic. My darling Algie is coming over with his lovely partner Daniel Blyth-Williamson and we shall be decorating the house entirely in glitter balls. I do believe Martha is going for quite a European themed buffet too. You and the Count must come over. I think it will cheer your spirits entirely.
Do you believe we’ll get any points this year?
Well, it’s a long time certainly since we lifted the trophy dear one, but never say never. At least we can be thankful that that is one thing European that we will continue to support. And, between you and me, the rumour from Minnie Piersflight is that Prince Philip has retired precisely so he can watch the events from Thursday onwards.
Really dear, I didn’t know that he was a fan?
Oh absolutely, I would trust my crocheted hats to Minnie – whatever she says can be totally and discreetly relied upon. Apparently it’s not a side of the Duke’s persona that he likes to publicise. I do believe he even wrote a line or two for our dear Terry Wogan when he was compering the show!
Goodness me Agatha, that does explain a lot. I do think he’s been an amazing ambassador though, despite some of his gaffes. Of course it’s a shame that we won’t witness what he might have said to President Trump when he visits later this year.
Quite dear. Perhaps it’s best Philip is retiring, given that the President appears rather quick to anger, and somewhat trigger-happy.
Perish the thought, Agatha. More tea and another meringue?